Have you ever said “Thank you” to someone, only to have them reply “No problem“?
Have you ever said “Gesundheit” or “God bless you” to someone who sneezed, and received only silence?
I know that both I and my wife have had these experiences many times. I know that schools in general no longer teach Manners, so I thought a basic primer might be in order.
First, when someone says “Thank you”, the proper response is “You’re welcome.” That’s all. You are acknowledging the fact that the other person appreciates what you have done. Psychologists will tell you that, by saying “You’re welcome”, you actually improve your self-image. You are recognizing that you did something nice for someone else.
On the other hand, when you say “No problem”, the opposite occurs. You are failing to give yourself credit for doing something nice for another person. Look, I know that what you did for me was not a problem. Otherwise, I probably would not have asked you to do it. Just say “You’re welcome” – please! That will make both of us feel better about my caring enough to tell you “Thank you.”
Speaking of “Please”: it is a small word that has huge repercussions. As long as I have been a parent, I have been teaching our children to use good manners. To me, that starts with the word “Please.”
If I ask you to pass the salt, but fail to say “Please”, I have just given you an order. Yes, I may be your Dad, but that still does not give me the right to boss you around. My wife and I understand that, if we want to earn the respect of our children, we need to respect them. Besides, children usually end up doing what they have seen modeled for them.
To conclude this primer, allow me to go back to the sneeze. Feel free to use whatever phrase you want after someone sneezes, but I would suggest that you do it consistently. Those who are close to you could easily feel slighted should you say it to others, but not to them.
One last tip: a few years ago, I started changing my reply to someone’s saying “God bless you” to me. Instead of saying “Thank you”, I now say, “I am blessed!” That works, too.
If you have not been in the habit of using good Manners, I would suggest that you start today – Pretty Please!
